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Military Spouse |
Before I met my husband, I had studied and lived abroad for over 8 years. I was used to doing everything by myself, moving around and starting all over again. But my life was pretty simple. I did not have a lot of worries, let alone having to cope with real fears and anxieties. Once you get married to a soldier, things are quite different. You have to face reality. Deployment involves risks, and brings along a mixed bag of emotions. When we found out my husband had to leave for his first tour of duty, we did not waste a lot of time. We had new wills written, updated our life insurance policy and got a power of attorney for me. I have to admit, I did cry a few times. It can be very overwhelming. Once my husband had left, I decided to focus on the "perks" of deployment. Each deployment was a perfect opportunity to reconnect with my family and catch up with long lost friends. The trips were a real treat - something to look forward to, and most of all, a distraction from reality. Of course I did not spend all my time in Belgium. During my husband's absence, I took several courses, acquired new skills and started volunteering. In 2005 I finally started working part-time. Sometimes I wonder if I would have done all those things if my husband had stayed home. I might have, but I doubt it. I am convinced that his deployments made me more independent, and accelerated my integration as a new immigrant. Despite the trips and my busy schedule, I missed my husband very much. I missed my husband very much when he was not home for Christmas - again -, when I found out what the gender of our baby was, when I was diagnosed with pre-term labor, or when... simply too many occasions to mention. We stayed in touch through email and letters, and often talked over the phone. The only downside: I could not call my husband, I had to wait for his phonecall. What a concept, in this day and age of instant communication! I found great comfort in the blogs Life Lessons of a Military Wife and also in the book "A Year of Absence," by Jessica Redmond. A must read for all military spouses. Unfortunately I can not say the same thing about the book "365 Deployment Days," by Sara Dawalt. That is one of the worst books I have ever read. No depth, no message, no nothing - just one long story full of complaints and self-pity. In 2008 we moved to the metro D.C. area. The chance that my husband will deploy soon is very slim. I am so much looking forward to "A Year of NO Absence!" |